Sunday, November 20, 2005

Pittsburgh!

Um, I don't really like Pittsburgh. No offense to any of you Pittsburghians out there, but...well, your city sucks.

Some observations about Pittsburgh:

  • There is nothing to do in downtown Pittsburgh. Upon recommendation, we went to "The Strip" one night to enjoy some local nightlife, maybe catch some live music....but all we found was a butcher, a cigar bar, a florist, a crappy Irish pub which was patronized by no one under the age of 50, and a McDonald's.
  • People in Pittsburgh don't drive very well.
  • To buy beer in Pittsburgh, you have to go to a beer store. And, according to P-A State Law (and you have to say it like that: "P-A State Law"), it's illegal to buy a 6-pack from a beer store. It is equally as illegal to buy a 12-pack. You have to buy a CASE for your beer purchase to be legal. Yes, people - a CASE! I guess the law makers of P-A know how bad Pittsburgh sucks, and therefore enacted this law to help retain its citizens. "Make them drink MORE, I say, and then maybe they'll look upon this city with beer goggles! And then they'll stay!"
  • We saw a bumper sticker that said Ditch the Bitch...Let's go Fishin'! This is an example of self-explanatory suckiness.
  • I took eight pictures of the old Heinz ketchup factory, because it was one of the only cool things to look at.
  • Speaking of Heinz, they are currently restoring a bunch of old industrial buildings in the downtown area into a bunch of swanky residential lofts. The names of the loft buildings will be "Cereal", Meat", "Bean", and there are two more but I forget their names. I am sure they are equally bad building names, however.
  • The suburbs of Pittsburgh have the most lovely fall foliage I have ever seen (I had to get at least one "positive" in there, didn't I?)
  • Women sport some BIG HAIR in Pittsburgh.
  • Very many men sport rockin' mullets in Pittsburgh.
  • Pittsburgh seems to have a penchant for turning old churches into bars and/or breweries. Which is kind of cool, I guess. We went to one of them one night. It was called "The Church". The Church was actually pretty cool. Good food, good atmosphere, but bad beer. A colleague of mine stole a pint glass for me on our way out, after she discovered that I sometimes collect pint glasses to document my work travels. So that was nice...in a weird, cleptomaniac kind of way. Thanks, Jeanne!

Geez Louise, this was a negative, snotty post! My optimistic, happy self is feeling a little bit guilty right now, for dedicating all sorts of words to listing things I don't like about Pittsburgh. But, really, I would have no problem with not having to go back there again (hint, hint, Jay!)

4 Comments:

At 9:10 PM, Blogger smithamcd said...

FUNNY

 
At 9:14 AM, Blogger Josh said...

Where's the pictures of me? Just kidding. Where you going next Annie?

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger joemiller4377 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 3:19 PM, Blogger Annie said...

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